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Bo Burnham
Benches

Old men love to sit on benches. They do! All day.
If you see an empty bench, look around.
I guarantee that you will not see any old men.

Old men always sit on benches.
And they always have.

Back in the day,
baby old men,
with their baby walking sticks
and baby dentures,
would sit on tiny baby benches.

And as they grew,
from baby old men
puttering around dragging baby oxygen tanks
into grown-up old men puttering around
dragging oxygen tanks,
the benches grew too.

Sometimes,
two old men will sit on a bench together.
And that’s fine.
Because it’s not a throne.
It’s a bench.
And it’s for old men.