Our father, who art in heaven,
hallowed by thy name,
hollow be thy promises
and shallow be thy shame.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
On a scale from one to ten,
our Lord is totally eleven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
toasted close to dawn,
and forgive our trespasses
as we shoot those who trespass on our lawn,
and lead us not into temptation,
such as pot or porno,
but deliver us from evil
(if not delivery, then DiGiorno).