[Intro, spoken]
Alright, kids, uh—welcome to your first Sunday school class alright let’s get right into it okay? Okay

[Verse 1]
Did you know that Jesus died on the cross
Just to keep you from masturbating?
And did you know that prior to 1960
He frowned on interracial dating?

[Bridge 1]
Well, my name is Bobby Johnson
And I teach about God's loving wrath
And though I try to live by the Bible, and what it says
I think I might've stumbled from the path
Because—

[Chorus 1]
I’m gay for Jesus, creator of all good
A charitable carpenter, that’s why he’s given me wood
I’m gay for Jesus, let the people rejoice
But it’s not about lust, I don’t want to nail him
That was a poor word choice

[Verse 2]
Did you know Satan wears a cape
—Made out of a rainbow flag?
And did you know that Jesus hates abortions
Unless the kid was a f— Jew?
[Bridge 2]
Well, I try to live by the Bible
But it tells me that my thoughts aren't right
But those particular pages might be stuck together
From the little bit of sinning I did last night
Because—

[Chorus 2]
They told me to love Jesus, I chose an alternative route
Well I was so sad when he was in that cave
But I was thrilled when he came out
Well, I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace
I said pour you love all over me
But please aim away from my face