[Intro]
[Coughing]
Ah, fuck

[Verse 1]
No cure for the common cold
Viral disease spreads tenfold
If you cough phlegm my way
I will kill you with an ashtray

[Refrain]
They call me viral warfare
Immunity I impair
Not deadly, just annoying
With your immunity I'll be toying

[Verse 2]
Can you feel it in the air?
Grocery stores, you should beware
That's the place most people get sick
Just to let you know avoid that shit

[Chorus]
Have you ever wondered
"How did I get sick?"
Here's your stupid answer
"It was me, I'm a dick"
Walking sick nightmare
I'll infect you anywhere
Ugh!
[Bridge]
Oh its the season, it's the flu
I'll cough on you

[Instrumental Break]
Blegh!
Get the Nyquil

[Outro]
Back again, I'm bacterial
Not deadly enough for a funeral
But I still annoy
Cannot get rid of me
Modern science won't disagree
Ginger, honey, lemon and tea
It's all crappy

[Spoken Outro]
Blegh!
Now, I'm a skeleton