[Verse 1]
Call the girls and dress up fine
Tonight I felt like suicide
Roll them dice and pour the wine
Shuffle them cards and deal them fine
Got nobody to kiss tonight
Nothing to lose but my appetite

[Verse 2]
Wanna be silly and sing and shout
Gotta get legless and fall about
Turn the music up nice and loud
Cheer me up don't bring me down
Gonna lose my job next week
Getting replaced by a silicone chip

[Chorus]
I might have been a hero
But I chose to stay in bed
I might have been prime minister
But right now honey I'm better off dead

[Instrumental Break]

[Chorus]
I might have been a hero
But I chose to stay in bed
I might have been prime minister
But right now honey I'm better off dead
[Verse 3]
Don't like the scenery don't like the set
Tear it all down and start again
Man keeps talking on the radio
Telling me what I don't wanna know
Radiation wars and layatril
If tax don't get ya then cancer will

[Chorus]
I might have been a hero
But I chose to stay in bed
I might have been prime minister
But right now honey I'm better off dead

[Instrumental Break]

[Chorus]
I might have been a hero
But I chose to stay in bed
I might have been prime minister
But right now honey I'm better off dead

[Outro]
Better off dead, better off dead
Better off dead, better off dead