[Verse 1]
My face is finished, my body's gone
And I can't help but think standin' up here
In all this applause and gazin' down
At all the young and the beautiful
With their questioning eyes
That I must above all things love myself
That I must above all things love myself
That I must above all things love myself

[Verse 2]
I saw a girl in the crowd
I ran over I shouted out
I asked if I could take her out
But she said that she didn't want to

[Verse 3]
I changed the sheets on my bed
I combed the hairs across my head
I sucked in my gut and still she said
That she just didn't want to

[Verse 4]
I read her Eliot, read her Yeats
I tried my best to stay up late
I fixed the hinges on her gate
But still she just never wanted to
[Verse 5]
I bought her a dozen snow-white doves
I did her dishes in rubber gloves
I called her Honeybee, I called her Love
But she just still didn't want to
She just never wants to
Dammit!

[Verse 6]
I sent her every type of flower
I played her guitar by the hour
I patted her revolting little chihuahua
But still she just didn't want to

[Verse 7]
I wrote a song with a hundred lines
I picked a bunch of dandelions
I walked her through the trembling pines
But she just even then didn't want to
She just never wants to

[Verse 8]
I thought I'd try another tack
I drank a litre of cognac
I threw her down upon her back
But she just laughed and said
That she just didn't want to
[Verse 9]
I thought I'd have another go
I called her my little ho
I felt like Marcel Marceau
Must feel when she said
That she just never wanted to
She just didn't want to

[Chorus]
I got the no pussy blues
I got the no pussy blues
I got the no pussy blues
God!
Damn!
I got the no pussy blues
I got the no pussy blues
I got the no pussy blues
I got the no pussy blues
Yeah!
Yeah!