Treat me lean and wiry
Treat me hot and fiery
Tell me you desire me
Uh huh huh, I got a message for you

Treat me fat and blubbery
Treat me lean and rubbery
Let's go to the shrubbery
Uh huh huh, I got a message for you
I got a message for you

If I was a hairless spinster covered in festering boils
Would you still make love to me or would you recoil?

Dip me in the custard
Cover me with mustard
As long we are clustered
It's alright, I got a message for you
I got a message for you

Though I'm not a piece of veal or a piece of ham
Can't you get your teeth in me just the way I am?

Roll me in the greenery
Point me at the scenery
Exploit me in the deanery
It's alright, I got a message for you
Treat me soft and feathery
Treat me hard and leathery
Oh, what lovely weathery
Uh huh huh, I got a message for you
I got a message for you
I got a message for you