[Verse 1]
No girl worth taking to the mattress
Just a bachelorette party full of fat chicks
I'm at the weakest party, I can't lie
Thirty dollar cover only twenty people inside
I'm in the corner looking at my phone
I'm acting like I'm texting, but it isn't even on
So many tools, minimal freaks
Paris Hilton walked in, looked around and said, "Peace"

[Pre-Hook]
It's getting cold in here, put on my coat
Sipping the oldest beer, this shit is fucking gross
As if that weren't enough, DJ wouldn't turn it up
Man, fuck this party, I'm getting drunk

[Hook]
Yo, this the weakest party
This is the weakest party ever
This the weakest party
Yo, this the weakest party
This is the weakest party ever
This the weakest party

[Verse 2]
There's some old guys (where?) right behind me
Macking on some seventeen year-olds with fake IDs
This is the weakest party, fantastic
Jean shorts everywhere, Nickelback blastin'
Get it popping, that's out of the question
The hottest chick here: that girl from Precious
This is a bottom of the barrel, who's who
And I just saw my girl making out with another dude
[Pre-Hook]
It's getting cold in here, put on my coat
Sipping the oldest beer, this shit is fucking gross
As if that weren't enough, DJ wouldn't turn it up
Man, fuck this party, I'm getting drunk

[Hook]
Yo, this the weakest party
This is the weakest party ever
This the weakest party
Yo, this the weakest party
This is the weakest party ever
This the weakest party