Jonathan Groff
And Then There Were None
[FRAU GABOR, spoken]
Dear Herr Stiefel...
Moritz, I've spent the entire day thinking about your note. Truly, it touched me, it did, that you'd think of me as a friend. Of course, I was saddened to hear that your exams came off rather less well than you'd hoped and that you will not be promoted, come fall. And yet, I must say straightaway, that fleeing to America is hardly the solution. And even if it were, I cannot provide the money you request...

[MORITZ]
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, well, fine
Not like it's even worth the time
But still, you know, you wanted more
Sorry, it won't change—been there before

[FRAU GABOR, spoken]
You would do me wrong, Herr Stiefel, to read into my refusal any lack of affection. On the contrary, as Melchior's mother, I truly believe it to be my duty to curb this momentary loss of...

[MORITZ]
The thing that sucks—okay?—for me
A thousand bucks, I'm like, scot-free
And I mean, please...that's all I need
Get real, Jose—by now you know the score

[FRAU GABOR, spoken]
Should you like, I am ready to write to your parents. I will try to convince them that no one could have worked harder last semester, and also that too rigorous a condemnation of your current misfortune could have the gravest possible effect on...

[MORITZ]
You wanna laugh, it's too absurd
You start to ask, can't hear a word
You're gonna crash and burn
Right, tell me more
[FRAU GABOR, spoken]
Still, Herr Stiefel, one thing in your letter disturbed me. Your—what shall we call it?—veiled threat that, should escape not be possible, you would take your own life...

[MORITZ]
Okay so, now we do the play
Act like we so care—no way
You'll write my folks? Well, okay
Babe, that's how it goes

[FRAU GABOR, spoken]
My dear boy, the world is filled with men—businessmen, scientists, scholars even—who have done rather poorly in school, and yet gone on to brilliant careers. Consider, for example, our friend, Leopold...

[MORITZ]
They'll freak, or won't—you toe the line
You tell your soul, "Just kill some time"
Will it quit? It will until they don't
They're not my home, not anymore
Not like they so were before
Still, I'll split, and they'll, like
Well, who knows? Who knows? Who knows...

[FRAU GABOR, spoken]
In any case, I assure you that your present misfortune will have no effect on my feelings for you, or on your relationship with Melchior...

[MORITZ & HANSCHEN]
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, well, fine
Not like it's even worth the time
But still, you know, you wanted more
[HANSCHEN]
Okay, so nothing's changed...

[MORITZ]
...heard that before

[MORITZ & OTTO]
You wanna laugh, it's too absurd
You start to ask, can't hear a word

[OTTO]
You wanna crash and burn...

[MORITZ]
...right, tell me more

[MORITZ & ERNST]
You start to cave, you start to cry
You try to run, nowhere to hide

[GEORG]
You want to crumble up and close that door

[FRAU GABOR, spoken]
So, head high, Herr Stiefel. And do let me hear from you soon. In the meantime, I am unchangingly and most fondly yours, Fanny Gabor
[MORITZ]
Just fuck it—right? Enough, that's it
You'll still go on—well, for a bit
Another day of utter shit—
And then there were none

[BOYS]
And then there were none...
And then there were none...
And then there were none...