[Instrumental]
[Intro: Aesop]
Okay...
This is a story-
A Christmas story
Ay

[Verse 1: Aesop]
It was Christmas eve, and down came the snow
I was so excited
To watch my favorite show:
Dragon Ball-
Specifically the "Z"
I wanted to see my man the tree
Of might
The "Christmas Tree of Might"
I saw the tree, it was filled with lights
I went to sleep that night
With Vegeta in my head
Then I saw 'im when I woke
On the corner of my bed

[Verse 2: Aesop]
He stood there in his Saiyan uniform and said
"Eli-please kill your mom"
I said "What?
Vegeta this is wrong!
No, no!
Vegeta this is wrong-
Vegeta- wouldn't do me like this"
But e' said "'ou won't do it or I'll call you a piss...
'Piss baby Eli', That's what they'll call you!"
I said "No, Vegeta no, please know I mought to follow you
I'll follow you- to the ends of the Earth, but I should kill my mom? that doesn't seem like Earth...-
Ways to do it, I don't know what-"
He said "The Saiyan way, you fuckin' little fun-fun stun-
You son of a bitch
I'm gonna kick you in the mouth
And kick you in a ditch"
I said "Okay, Vegeta, there's no need to get crude
You knew I'm your favorite lit-tle Saiyan dude
Okay-
[Verse 3: Aesop]
I woke up the next morning;
To fin' my mom dead- I was 'n mourning
"Oh no! My mom, she was my fav'rite per-saiyan
Sayin' the Saiyan told me to go killin'
And I'm slaying:
I'm a Slayin' Saiyan now
The Santa Clause sleigh was saying in the-
I'm gonna die...
Oh no, oh no, oh no
Coal in my stocking
And it was down be-low

[Verse 4: Aesop]
I went to sleep
After much decision
Was worried a' my future
Vegeta vision
He came to my bed
And this time he was wearing
The pink shirt when he
Kin-the-kin-da-fooza-da-blarren
"Oh, Eli, you did so well
You killed your fuckin' mom"
"Oh, no, Vegeta...
Vegeta! You're back!" I said
He said "This time, your dad must be dead!"
My dad!
Not my favorite dad!
(He's divorced, but still he's pretty rad)
"Vegeta, please don't use the Galick Gun!
I'm just trying to have some ho-liday fun
Vegeta, please, I'm just wanna make you happy...
I just wanna make you smile..."
Okay...
Okay, Vegeta, please don't be so mad-
You make me so sad...
Okay...
[Verse 5: Aesop]
So I woke up next morning
An' I saw my dad was dead-
He was lyin' there without his body in his head
"What the fuck" I said
"I don't remember that"
I must of sprayed him with the gatling gun by his bed
He's fuckin' dead
He's fuckin' dead- oh, shit
I killed my dad
And my mom
And don't know what the rest of this song
Is gonna be-
What could else could he ask of me?

[Verse 6: Aesop]
I went to sleep, and Chris Sabat was there
He was voicin' Vegeta, 'is the Super Saiyan hair
This time he was angrier than ever:
He said "little Eli- you must- your brother who's dead"
My brother! Fuck! No, no, no...
He said "Your dog too, and your grandma must go!
Your whole family
Is dead, to my Big Bang Attack!
I'm gonna kick you in the head and give you a smack"
[Bridge: Aesop]
"Oh, please, Vegeta, this is too much to ask
I'm beggin' you ,please, just get of my ass!
Vegeta...
Vegeta you're tearin' me apart-
Vegeta, I love ya, but this has to-
No, no, there's no way this could start
'an gettin' any worse-
I'm tellin' ya-
My whole family reunion's gonna be held in a hearse!"

[Verse 7: Aesop]
"Oh, Vegeta!
Vegeta, please, no!
My dog is dead, my brother
Lyin' in the snow-
They're all gone
Please, just make me Super Saiyan
I'm just sayin'
All these 'dimes
I need to stu-stop playin-
Playin' these games
I'm tellin' you this once
This ain't Christmas wish
This ain't even a 'stunce
Stunts- that you've been pullin' on me
I'm tellin' ya this is not a present 'neath a tree

[Verse 8: Aesop]
Vegeta!
You left me that night
You flew off in your space pod with Nappa, alright
Vegeta
You played me for a fool
I guess I'm gonna-be-havin' to go back to school
And tell 'em that
"What'd you do this Christmas break?"
"I killed my whole family"
Cause-a Vegeta told me to
What a snake-
What a fuckin' little bastard
I'm never gonna watch Dragon Ball Z again
I'm on One Piece!
One Piece, now
With the two-piece, the three piece, four
Vegeta's been knockin' on my Christmas door
Tell ya'
This has to come to end
Vegeta-
You're no longer my friend!
[Outro: Aesop]
VEGETA!
You're no longer my friend!
Vegeta-
You're tearin' me apart
VEGETA!
You've broken my heart!
Vegeta...
Vegeta...