[Verse 1]
Fuck Guns 'N' Roses without Slash
A real man never uses hair product unless he's black
Toilet Paper is for queers
Gargling after a blowjob is how they make light beer

[Hook]
You can't have no fun with an unloaded gun
My Dad says that's for pussies

[Verse 2]
Ain't gonna lift the seat to whizz
Just 'cos it's called Men's Gymnastics doesn't mean it is
This Fairtrade coffee tastes like gay
Now seems like a good time to out Matthew McConaughey

[Hook]
You can't have no fun with an unloaded gun
My Dad says that's for pussies

[Bridge]
Libraries, back-up parachutes and the Versailles Treaty
Seatbelts, hurricane warnings and anti-freeze
Rogaine, helmets, CPR and Kenny G
Wheelchairs, Ghandi, rehab, braille and harmonies
John Wayne would never use a surge protector!
[Hook]
You can't have no fun with an unloaded gun
My Dad says that's for pussies
You can't have no fun with an unloaded gun
My Dad says that's for pussies

[Outro]
You can't have no fun with an unloaded gun
My Dad says, my Dad says
My Dad says that's for pussies