[Verse 1]
Welcome to the family
Hope you have a real good life
With my little sister
Yeah, she'll make a real good wife
Hope you have lots of babies
Hope you get a real job
Hope you don't mind company
Because we'll be there a lot
And brother here's some brotherly advice
If you know what's good for you you'll treat her right (Because)

[Chorus]
Because grandpa's the local sheriff
Yeah he's the judge and the jury too
Uncle Bill's the undertaker, son
He'll dig a hole for you
Cousin Jesse, he's just crazy
He'll fight you just for fun
Mama's got a real bad temper
And daddy's got a shotgun

[Verse 2]
Welcome to the family
And this side of the tracks
If you ever leave her
You ain't comin' back
My nephew Red's a hunter
He's going to hunt you down
Just like he did the last one
And he still ain't been found
Now I like you just fine, don't get me wrong
But boy take care of her 'cause if you don't
[Chorus x2]

[Verse 3]
Welcome to the family
Hope you have a real good life
With my little sister
Yeah she'll make a real good wife