[Verse 1]
For coughs and colds and scabby holes
Itchy pimples, unseemly moles
For funny turns and Chinese burns
For aching heads, we're most concerned
For staying lively, getting it nightly
Yes, we guarantee

[Chorus]
That's Ultranol, it's the new remedy
Before you go to bed, take two or three
When you wake up, you'll feel better

[Refrain]
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

[Verse 2]
For aches and pains and jellied brains
Help you sleep and smile again
And now you're aimless, blameless, almost nameless
You get much more, although you pay less
Revitalise that sexual drive
In fact, be born again

[Chorus]
Yes, Ultranol will put you on the map
Take four or five, then have a little nap
When you wake up, you'll feel better
[Verse 3]
For coughs and colds and your scabby holes
(La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la)
It'll keep you young though you're feeling old
(La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la)
If you're not protected, you're gonna get it
(La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la)
So suck 'em and see, you won't regret it
(La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la)

[Outro]
Suck 'em and see, suck 'em and see
Suck 'em and see, suck 'em and see