[Verse 1]
The walls are closing in again, oh well
The walls are closing in again, oh well
I've seen some things I thought I'd never saw
Covered in hair (Hair)
Paul's dad is warped and bubbling, oh well
Paul's dad is warped and bubbling, oh well
And my mind is out here on another wave
Covered in hair (Hair)

[Pre-Chorus]
She won't grow
She won't grow
She won't grow
She won't grow
She won't grow
She won't grow
She won't grow

[Chorus 1]
You've got a monster (Distress) in your parasol (Why, yes)
You've got a monster (Divorce) in your parasol (Of course)
You've got a monster (Displeasure) in your parasol (My treasure)
You've got a monster (Your pain) in your parasol (Drives me insane)

[Verse 2]
Paul's sister is an alien, oh well
Paul's sister is an alien, oh well
I'e seen some things I thought I'd never saw
Covered in hair (Hair)
[Pre-Chorus]
She won't grow
She won't grow
She won't grow
She won't grow
She won't grow
She won't grow
She won't grow

[Chorus 2]
You've got a monster (Distress) in your parasol (Why, yes)
You've got a monster (Divorce) in your parasol (Of course)
You've got a monster (Displeasure) in your parasol (My treasure)
You've got a hole (Your pain) in you I never saw (Drives me insane)
In your parasol, in your parasol (Insane)

[THE ‘COCKSMOKER’ RANT]:
[Josh Homme (Spoken)]:
Hey, you! Turn up the lights, Dan. This guy in the long sleeve shirt. Everyone look at this guy in the white long sleeve shirt! See him? I’m pointing right at him. This guy... is a total cocksmoker
[Audience Cheering]
[Josh Homme (Spoken)]:
Arent you? You’re a cocksmoker, aren’t you? He’s throwing shit at me. I’ve tried to come here five times and he’s throwing shit at me. Now... now it’s not just me and you that know you’re a fucking asshole... it’s everybody. So, when you see Mr. Cocksmoker, later, just walk by and go ‘Hey, cocksmoker! Eat a bag of dicks!” Thank you very much. It was good to have you here. You cock smoking fuckhole
I wanna have fun, man! I wanna have fuckin’ fun! I wanna get drunk, I wanna get laid, I wanna fuckin do cool shit! Are you with me?! I said, you fuckin with me?! Alright, this is the “Anti-Cocksmoker” song!