[BOBBY AS BELA, spoken]
Polly, Polly, Polly!

[BELA, spoken]
Tessie, Tessie Tessie!

[BELA & BOBBY, spoken]
She doesn't want me

[BELA, spoken]
Women

[BOBBY AS BELA, spoken]
Women

[BELA & BOBBY chuckle ruefully]

[BELA, sung]
She's so full of trickery
Life is bitter as chicory
Bitterness fills my cup

[BOBBY AS BELA, sung]
I'm sorry you brought that up

[BELA, spoken]
Yeah
[BOBBY AS BELA, sung]
Once I thought I'd search around
For the little church around
The corner, but now I see

[BELA & BOBBY, sung]
It never was meant to be

[BELA, sung]
Once she used to praise me

[BOBBY AS BELA, sung]
Why is she so high hat?

[BELA, sung]
Boy, does she amaze me

[BELA & BOBBY, sung]
Tell me what causes that?! Ugh!

[BOBBY AS BELA, sung]
When I'm away from her I start despairing. Whoa whoa whoa

[BELA, sung]
You ought to know by now what causes that!
[BOBBY AS BELA, spoken]
I got pretty good idea

[BELA, sung]
I'm growing balder from the hair I'm tearing. Sheeee!

[BELA & BOBBY, sung]
You ought to know by now what causes that!
When she keeps on brushing you aside
Oh gosh, you're all at sea!
You go contemplating suicide
It's much too much for me!
You're not so dumb that you don't know the answer
Loving her is what causes that!
(spoken)
Yeah, yeah (voices overlap)

[BELA, sung]
If I should climb the Brooklyn Bridge and jump off

[BOBBY AS BELA, spoken]
Wait, you might hurt yourself!

[BELA, spoken]
That's the idea
[BOBBY AS BELA, sung]
Oh, I suppose you'd ask what causes that?

[BELA, spoken]
You're right, I might

[BOBBY AS BELA, spoken]
Right?

[BELA, spoken]
Right!

[BOBBY AS BELA, sung]
If I should get a gun and bump this chump off

[BELA, spoken]
Better this way

[BOBBY AS BELA, spoken]
Oh, I see

[BELA & BOBBY, sung]
Oh, I suppose you'd ask what causes that?
Really you don't have to mope around
And burn up as you do
There's a cannon and a rope around
There's lots of poison too!
I'm very blue of late and there's a reason:

[BELA, sung]
Loving her...

[BOBBY AS BELA, sung]
Loving her...

[BELA & BOBBY, sung]
Is what causes that!

[whistling]

[BELA & BOBBY, spoken]
Ohh!

[BELA & BOBBY, sung]
I'm very blue of late and there's a reason
Loving her is what causes that!
...Is what causes that!
...Is what causes that!
...Is what causes that!