[Intro]
Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat
For you like this and the other
While I go for this and that
Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh, I don't know where I’m at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done

[Verse 1]
I say potato, I say potahto
I say tomato, I say tomahto
Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto
Let's call the whole thing off!
Call it off!

[Verse 2]
I dig either, and I dig eyether
I dig neither and I dig nyther
Either, eyether, neither, nyther
Forget you, man!
We'll take care of it, so sorry!

[Verse 3]
I say laughter, I say lawfter
I say after, I say awfter
Laughter, lawfter, after, awfter
Let’s call the whole thing off!
What?
[Verse 4]
I dig vanilla, and I dig vanuhlla
I dig sasaparilla, and I choke sarsaparilla
Vanilla, vanuhlla, sasaparilla sarsaparilla
Get giddled[?], man!

[Bridge]
But oh my god, if we call the whole thing off
Then we have to race
And oh! If we have to race
Then I might have to break your face, man!

[Verse 5]
I wear pajamas, and I wear pyjamas
I got brass knuckles, and I got a black jack
So we know we need each other
So we better call the calling off
Let's call the whole thing off!

Forget you, man!
Forget you, man!
I'm gonna cut you!
Hey, I'm gonna cut three holes in your face and go bowling next week!
I don't need you, I don't need anybody!
Hey Charlie, go get me my jacket, it's time to go race! We're gonna rumble tonight!
We’re gonna rumble at midnight. Right now I’m gonna ready get a burger
Well, I'm gonna get a boiger!
I’m gonna commit murder!
Oh yeah? Well, I'm gonna go commit moider!
I'm gonna get dessert!
Yeah? Well, I'm gonna go the desert!
Father, mother, brother, sister
Doctor Demento, Romeo, Ortega
Ketchup, catsup, sitar, seetar
Cigar, char, burrito, brighto
Religion, reliegion, rumble, jumble
Tsar, Czar, nuclear, nucular
Oregon, Oraygone,
Alright!

Carib-bean, Caribbeean, Japan, Nippon
Russia, Prussia, a brush a brush a brush-a
Pants, ponts, sandwich, sangwich
Puffin, muffin, spatula, spatoolah

Puzzle!
Freezer!
Niche, neeche
Gyro, yeeroh
Seevomater
Chepoman
Sade
It’s shah-de, greaseball!
I'm gonna cut you!
Forget you, man!
I'm out of here!
I'm out of here!