(Verse)
[DICK]
I've seen for days that
You've got the ways that
Must be checked
In you I never can detect
The slightest signs of intellect
You're mad on dances
Think of the chances
You neglect
You never seem inclined
To use your mind
And it's quite plain to see
That I'm the brains of the family

(Chorus)
[DICK]
Take a lesson from me

[SUSIE]
I'd rather Charleston

[DICK]
Charleston?
Think of what you might be
[SUSIE]
I'd rather Charleston

[DICK]
Charleston?
I'm disappointed
In you and your ways

[SUSIE]
I'm double-jointed
There's no sensation
Like syncopation

[DICK]
Will you let me know why?

[SUSIE]
I'd rather Charleston

[DICK]
Charleston?
That's the sort of thing I would never do
So leave it behind
And give your mind
To something new
[SUSIE]
I'd rather Charleston
Charleston
Charleston with you

(Verse 2)
[DICK]
Your way of living
Soon will be giving
Me a pain
You just repeat that same refrain
You use your feet and not your brain
Something has got you
I don't know what you
Hope to gain
And after all I've done
It's not much fun
To have a sister who's
Got her brain in her dancing shoes

(Chorus 2)
[DICK]
Take a lesson from me

[SUSIE]
I'd rather Charleston
[DICK]
Charleston?
When you're older, you'll see

[SUSIE]
I'd rather Charleston

[DICK]
Charleston?
The great improvements
I looked for in you!

[SUSIE]
I like improvements
They make new plastic
Just like elastic

[DICK]
Say, don't you ever keep cool?

[SUSIE]
I'd rather Charleston

[DICK]
Charleston?
That's the sort of thing silly people do
Say, haven't you read
What Lincoln said
In '62?

[SUSIE]
I'd rather Charleston
Charleston
Charleston with you