'A' is for Amy who kept me after class
'B' is for Betty who liked the way I laughed
'C' is for Carol who moved away so fast
And 'D' is for David
Shit, we won't get into that

'E' is for Emma who ran away with her Frances
'G' is for Georgia who tasted sweeter than peaches
'H' is for Holly who was my date to the dances
And I was for Inga who showed a man what romance is

[Chorus]
'Cause I know my ABC's, ABC's, ABC's
I know my ABC's, ABC's, ABC's

'J' is for Jackie who fell out with Kelly over a Lucy all on a Tuesday
Molly and Nancy would meet in the stall to talk about Owen, and Peter, and Paul
Ryan was Stan for Tiffany's band
Uma was violent for Whitney and Xan
Yvonne took advantage of all that she had
And I ended up with a girl named Zoey

[Chorus]
'Cause I know my ABC's, ABC's, ABC's
I know my ABC's, ABC's, ABC's