[STAN]
There's a bunch of birds in the sky
And some deers just went running by
Oh, the snow's pure and white on the Earth rich and brown
Just another Sunday morning in my quiet mountain town

The sun is shining and the grass is green
Under the three feet of snow I mean
This is a day when it's hard to wear a frown
All the happy people stop to say hello

[PASSERBY]
Get out of my way!

[STAN]
Even though the temperature's low
It's a perfect Sunday morning in my quiet, little mountain town

[SHARON, spoken]
Well, good morning, Stan!

[STAN, spoken]
Mom, could I have eight dollars to see a movie?

[SHARON, spoken]
A movie? But I thought you were going ice skating!
[STAN, spoken]
But this is gonna be the best movie ever! It's a foreign film from Canada!

[SHARON, spoken]
Alright, alright, here you go, but be back for supper!

[STAN, spoken]
Thanks, Mom!

[SHARON]
Oh, what a picture perfect child
Just like Jesus, he's tender and mild
He'd a wear a smile while he wore a thorny crown
What an angel with a heart so sweet and sure
And a mind so open and pure
Thank God we live in this quiet, redneck, mountain town

[STAN, spoken]
Hi, is your son home?

[CAROL, spoken]
I think so. Hey!

[KENNY, spoken]
Ow
[CAROL, spoken]
Kenny, wake up!
Kenny, dammit, c'mon!

[KENNY, spoken]
I'm coming!

[STAN, spoken]
Kenny, the Terrance & Phillip movie is out, you wanna come?

[KENNY, spoken]
Yeah, dude! Hell yes, I wanna come!

[CAROL, spoken]
Where do you think you're going?

[KENNY, spoken]
To the Terrance and Phillip movie

[CAROL, spoken]
You can't, you have to go to church

[KENNY, spoken]
But Mom, I really wanna see this movie!

[CAROL, spoken]
Well fine, go ahead and miss church, and then, when you die and go to Hell, you can answer to Satan!
[KENNY, spoken]
Okay!

[STAN]
You can see your breath hanging in the air
You see homeless people, but you just don't care
It's a sea of smiles in which we'd be glad to drown

[KENNY]
Don't ya know it's like a perfect winter's day
And that I'm glad I can say

[STAN, spoken]
That's right!

[STAN, STAN, KENNY & OTHER TOWNSPEOPLE]
It's Sunday morning in our quiet
Little, white-bred, redneck mountain town

[KYLE, spoken]
Okay, Ike. Let's try this one more time

[IKE, spoken]
Doo-ferm-uh-ner?

[KYLE, spoken]
Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!

[IKE, spoken]
Don't kick the baby

[KYLE, spoken]
Kick the baby

[STAN, spoken]
Kyle! We're going to the Terrance and Phillip movie!

[KYLE, spoken]
Oh my God, dude!

[SHEILA, spoken]
Kyle, what's going on?

[KYLE, spoken]
Nothing, we're going ice skating now

[SHEILA, spoken]
Oh, well, take your little brother out with you

[KYLE, spoken]
Aw, Ma! He's not even my real brother. He's adopted!

[SHEILA, spoken]
Do as I say, Kyle!

[KYLE, spoken]
Okay, okay, I'm sorry

[SHEILA]
Look at those frail and fragile boys
It really gets me down
The world is such a rotten place
And city life's a complete disgrace!
That's why I moved to this redneck, meshuggeneh, quiet mountain town

[CARTMAN, spoken]
Mom, somebody's at the door! Mom, somebody's at the door, I said!

[LIANE, spoken]
Coming, hon!

[CARTMAN, spoken]
Ey, I can't see the TV!

[NEWS REPORTER]
It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by a pack of wild boars, and the world is still glad to be rid of him

[LIANE, spoken]
Oh, look, Eric! It's your little friends!

[IKE, spoken]
Fireman!

[CARTMAN, spoken]
What are you guys doing here?
Sweet, dude! Yes! Yes!

[STAN, KENNY, KYLE & ERIC, ERIC & KENNY]
Off to the movies we shall go
Where we learn everything that we know
'Cause the movies teach us what our parents don't have time to say
And this movie's gonna make our lives complete
'Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet (Super sweet!)
Thank God we live in the quiet, little, redneck, podunk, white-trash (Kick-ass) U-S-A!

[STAN, spoken]
Can I have five tickets to Terrance & Phillip: Asses of Fire, please?

[TICKET SELLER, spoken]
No!