[Intro]
One two three four

[Verse 1]
Your footman barred me from the door
Said I couldn't see you no more
Well, what's with this bureaucracy
When I filled the forms you left for me?
He's a loyal man who waits for you
Where loyalty is such taboo
Sixteen keyholes, one straight line
I look through them from time to time
The weather down your end looks fine
But the forecast's grim down mine
I'm no gambler better understand
That I like to know the story plan

[Chorus]
People say I got no sense
I'm waiting, I'm waiting
I'm waiting for an audience with you
Well, I'm waiting for an audience with you

[Verse 2]
And all the wrestlers you've employed
And all the boys with whom you toyed
You tell me please don't get annoyed
You're behaving like some Helen of Troy
I don't care for original sin
It's a stupid world we're living in
Your paid assassin makes me wait
He eats with fingers off his plate
He says you've got a pressing date
With RIPs and heads of state
I know that he won't let me in
'Cause villains always have bad skin
[Chorus]
People say I got no sense
I'm waiting, I'm waiting
I'm waiting for an audience with you
Well, I'm waiting for an audience with you

[Post-Chorus]
Hey!

[Verse 3]
A plastic surgeon's your best friend
He's got the means to any end
He's so efficient, you're so vain
So we won't see your face again
Well, heaven knows how hard you tried
But hell was such a bumpy ride
The widow with the holy eyes
Got a pistol strapped into her thighs
Says you're as sweet as apple pie
You only get so bitchy 'cause you're shy
Well, but that's a load of papal bull
'Cause I put you on that pedestal

[Chorus]
People say I got no sense
I'm waiting, I'm waiting
I'm waiting for an audience with you
Well, I'm waiting for an audience with you
[Bridge]
Give me the strength of Hercules
His fallen arches, his water knees
But please please, let me be like I oughta be
Lost and lonely, hurt and happy
With an original fantasy, yeah

[Verse 4]
Now everything seems like a myth
The strength that I have performed with
Two thousand stairs and there's no lift
Gonna get to the top and there's no if
Oh, but what's for me when I get there?
Is it just wheelchairs and grey hair?
Well, never was one letter sent
I told the truth but told it bent
Well, that's the custom, that's the law
But don't ask me the reason for
'Cause I'm just a boy in love with you
I'm rejected by the things you do

[Chorus]
People say I got no sense
I'm waiting, I'm waiting
I'm waiting for an audience with you
Well, I'm waiting for an audience with you
[Outro]
Please, please let me in
Please, please let me in (Yeah)