[Intro]
And this song is called "The Star-Struck Banner." You don't know it, you see, it's a new one. 

[Verse 1]
You know there's entertainment news on the hotel TV
They run it for twenty-four hours
Where stars discuss celebrity
And celebrities talk about stars
And who's having who on so and so's set
The lifestyles of the rich and useless
From Queen Julia down to King Kong
They got everybody singing that song
But everybody's got it wrong

[Chorus]
And it makes me stutter, makes me stammer
So let's fly it high
It's the star-struck banner
Here's how it works and here's a spanner (That's a wrench)
You can stick it in!

[Verse 2]
Well, I know that woman and she can't act
And I know who bought her her breasts
Once she wanted to get to grips with me
Now she can't get me off her chest (Think about it)
I've seen— I've seen the— (Yeah)
I've seen the photos of their wedding day
Now she's another gay divorcee
Well, you can blame it on the media but I'm not buying
All their crocodile tears and their wolf crying
If you get it and you don't want it
You're just not trying
[Chorus]
It makes me stutter, makes me stammer
So just fly it high
'Cause it's the star-struck banner
Here's how it works and here's a spanner
You can stick it in!

[Bridge]
Well, now I read the papers, I'm looking for the news
But all I see is irrelevance
And if you thought no one was dying, well, you'd be excused
'Cause it's an insult to the unintelligent

[Verse 3]
You know that me, I'm just an armchair outlaw
But I'm trying to make ends meet
When I try a little psycho maths
Well, it knocks me off my feet
Well, I've heard there's no gods left anymore
So what do we wanna make these new ones for?
We'll just get on our knees like we know we should
And we'll say our prayers to Holywood
But it ain't gonna do us no good

[Chorus]
And it makes me stutter, makes me stammer
So just fly it high
'Cause it's the star-struck banner
Here's how it works and here's a spanner (Alright)
Well, you can stick it in!
Well, it makes me stutter, makes me stammer
Fly it high (Yeah)