[Intro]
Before we go any further
Friends

[Verse]
As you call 'em, they call you when they need something
Trees for the bluntin', to G's for the frontin'
I found a way to get peace of mind for years and left the hell alone
Turn a deaf ear to the cellular phone
Send me a letter or better, we could see each other in real life
Just so you could feel me like a steel knife
At least so you could see the white of they eyes
Bright with surprise, once they finish spitting lies
Associates, is your boys, your girls, bitches, n***as, homies
Close, or really don't know me
Mom, dad, comrade, peeps, brothers, sisters, duns, dunnies
Some come around when they need some money
Others make us laugh like the Sunday funnies
Fam be around whether you paid or bummy
You could either ignore this advice or take it from me:
Be too nice and people take you for a dummy
So nowadays, he ain't so friendly
Actually they wouldn’t even made a worthy enemy
Read the signs: "No feeding the baboons"
Seein' as how they got ya back bleeding from the stab wounds
Y'all know the dance, they smile in ya face, y'all know the glance
Try to put 'em on, they blow the chance
Never let your so-called mans know your plans
(How many of us have them?) A show of hands
(Friends) is a term some people use loosely
I'm real choosy on what I choose to let crew see
You telling me I try to act broke
Jealousy the number one killer among black folk
Fellas be under some type of spell like crack smoke
Ghetto Cinderellas lead 'em right to your stack, loc
Just another way a chick'll lead to your end
I checked the dictionary for the meaning of friend
It said: "person one likes to socialize with
Sympathizer, helper", and that's about the size of it
Most of the time these attributes is one-sided
To bolster the crime, they're apt to shoot you through your eyelid
And they can't hide it, going wild like a white bitch
Sometimes ya need to cut n***as off like a light switch
(Flick!) And when things get quiet
Catch 'em like a thief in the night, what a riot
I first met Mr. Fantastik at a arms deal
Don't let it get drastic, think of how your moms'll feel
When it get for real, steel get to sparkin'
Everything darken, it ain't no talkin'
For somethin' so cheap, it sure buys a lot of trouble
Ya better off focusing than tryin' to plot to bubble
Or else it'd be a sad note to end on, the guns we got is
(One's we can depend on, friends)
Some come in the form of co-dependents
A lot of times only end up being co-defendants
Ten bucks say they tell for a lower sentence
And leave you up under the jail, begging for repentance
It don't make no sense, what happened to the loyalty?
Honor amongst crooks, trust among royalty
I'd rather go out in a blaze than give 'em the glory
(How many of us have—) a similar story?
(Friends) before lovers, we used to have some type of over-standing
Just so when I let her get the man thing
She know it's no strings, we could do the damn thing
But ho, it's no rings, just how the tramp swings
Will she see him again? That depends on
"How good was the skins?" and "Could she memorize the lessons?"
It ain't no need to pretend
Even though she let him stab it, she know they're just friends
[Outro]
Friends
How many of us have them?
Friends
Ones we can depend on?
Friends
How many of us have them?
Friends
Before we go any further

[Skit]
Fellas! Don't be silly! I know who my friends are!
And the next nice neighborhood I move into, you guys'll get crack'
(Negro humor always escaped me.)

[Outro Skit: Character 1; Mr. Fantastic; (Invisible Woman);
Dr. DOOM; Character 2]
The most powerful, the most mysterious monarch in all the world
Guided by a fighting force that never sleeps
That never relaxes its vigilance
For none is as feared, none has as many foes
As DOOM, the awesome armorclad lord of
I know who Doom is (Then tell us)
He happens to be the most dangerous man in the world
I’d hope we’d never hear from him
I’d hope we’d never have to battle him
But now the worst has happened and I must tell you what we’re up against
I first met DOOM years ago
When he wanted to be alone, alone to pursue his forbidden experiments
One day while conducting a secret experiment
*Explosion sounds* Later, when he recovered from his injuries
Instead of having learned his lesson, DOOM was bitter, angry, vengeful
*Woman screams* What have I done to myself?
My face, it is hideous
He traveled the world, seeking a cure for his disfigured face
(I’m sorry sir, there is nothing we can do for you)
He traveled through remote villages, where strangers are seldom seen
He continued his search, never showing his face
Unless threatened by bandits who prey on travelers
Who foolishly wander alone through their domain