[Verse 1]
You'll never guess!
What I found under the floorboards in the basement!
Next to the shovel under the cold, cold, ground
You'll never guess!

[Verse 2]
You'll never guess!
What I found ??? in the cellar
Next to the boiler in the hot, hot coals!
You'll never guess!

[Chorus]
Not one for diggin' up the past
I say let old ghosts die
The ol' bones in the closet must be hung out to dry

[Verse 3]
You'll never guess!
What I found buried beneath the apple tree
Wrapped in linen and covered in lye
You'll never guess!

[Verse 4]
You'll never guess!
What I found out in the rose garden
Chopped to pieces and cleverly hid!
You'll never guess!
[Chorus]
Not one for diggin' up the past
I say let old ghosts die
The ol' bones in the closet must be hung out to dry

[Chorus]
Not one for diggin' up the past
I say let old ghosts die
The ol' bones in the closet must be hung out to dry

[Outro]
Not one for causing tidal waves
I say let ol' dogs lie
That silence rots your brain
It has simply gone awry!