You're the dude from high school I see at the gym
You're a friend of a friend or a second cousin
You're a coworker I sometimes eat lunch with
You're one of my many acquaintances

You know Christmas is about spending time with friends and family
But just because you're not in one of those two categories
Doesn't mean that I won't still do something special for you
Because Christmas is about giving, so here's what I'll do

I'm gonna send you a Christmas text (Christmas text, Christmas text)
I'm gonna send you a Christmas text (Christmas text, Christmas text)
I'm gonna send you a Christmas text (Christmas text, Christmas text)
I'm gonna type Merry Christmas exclamation point and then press send

Maybe I'll just copy and paste it (from a previous text)
Well, it's only two words I might as well just type it (less complicated)
If you're thinking of calling me to thank me, oh please don't (that's not how this works)
Texting is as far as this relationship goes (and keep your response brief)

I have way more important people in my life, you're not even in the top fifty
It's not that I don't care about you... well, yeah, I don't really care about you
But doesn't mean that I won't still do something special for you
Because Christmas is about giving, so here's what I'll do

I'm gonna send you a Christmas text (Christmas text, Christmas text)
I'm gonna send you a Christmas text (Christmas text, Christmas text)
I'm gonna send you a Christmas text (Christmas text, Christmas text)
Gonna type Merry Christmas exclamation point and then press send
I don't care enough to call
But I don't "not care" enough to do nothing
I don't care enough to call
But I don't "not care" enough to do nothing

So I'm gonna type Merry Christmas exclamation point and then press send
Merry Christmas exclamation point and then press send
Merry Christmas exclamation point and then press send
Merry Christmas exclamation point and then press send

And to all of my non-Christian friends I will text you
"Hey dude, what's going on? We should tots hang next week"