As I was going to Derby, 'twas on a market day
I met the finest ram, sirs, that ever was fed upon hay

[Chorus]
That's a lie, that's a lie
That's a lie, a lie, a lie!

This ram and I got drunk, sir, as drunk as drunk could be
And when we sobered up, sir, we were far away out on the sea

[Chorus]

This wonderful old ram, sir, was playful as a kid;
He swallowed the captain's spyglass along with the bo'sun's fid

[Chorus]

One morning on the poop, sir, afore eight bells was struck
He climbed up to the sky's I yard an' sat down on the truck

(Chorus)

This wonderful ol' ram, sir, he tried a silly trick
He tried to jump a five-barred fence and landed in a rick

[Chorus]
This wonderful ol' ram, sir, it grew two horns of brass
One grew out o' his shoulder blade, t'other turned into a mast

[Chorus]

An' when this ram was killed, sir, the butcher was covered in blood
Five and twenty butcher boys was carried away the flood

[Chorus]

An' when this ram was dead, sir, they buried it in St. Joan's
It took ten men an' an elephant to carry one of its bones

[Chorus]