[Verse 1]
Last night I had a dream I was burning in Hell
I had murdered myself, I was beneath Earth in a cell
Satan looked directly in my eyes
And said "Fuck, are you stupid?
Sean what are you doing?
What about your son and your music?"
I said I love 'em both and I think I'm devoted
As a father and an artist
Sometimes I'm weaker at moments
Where I just feel these impulses
It's harder for me to control 'em
Sniffin', drinkin', and smokin'
Really I need just to focus (Yup)
'Cause when I woke up
Feelin' like a failure
Almost 25, is our music goin' anywhere
What have I done?
Look at all the time I've wasted I must be nuts
So many tricks my mind is playin' been on the bus
I try and exercise my patience but I'm crushed
Man, I'm just really tired of waiting
For something good to happen
That's exactly what I can't do
I'll make another push, then panic
I've had chances, man, a handful, but
I can't stop, slap box and [?]
Do another show, tell the crowd to put their hands up
Thinkin', is this what I'm meant to do?
Man, I'm kinda skeptical
If we ever wanna catch a break, we need to catch it soon
'Cause I'm feelin' like I'm suffocating, can I get some room?
Don't wanna crumble, gotta hustle 'cause I feel impending doom
[?]
I wanna make it, most of all, because no one expects us to
[Chorus: Anja Plaschg]
Fold down your hands
Give me a sign
Hooked on your lies
Lay down next to me
Don't listen when I scream
Bury your doubts and fall asleep
[Verse 2]
But last night I had a dream
Only killin' my father
Reason? I don't know
I may be dealin' with trauma
Maybe it's: I wanna measure his success with mine
Feelin' like sittin' in second place won't stand the test of time
So I testify
On the record
But I don't have a label of distribution unless
Guess I'm just a clown in the shadow of my jester
Gestures, I make 'em when I'm down but I'm helpless, effort
Is what I've been puttin' in, but I ain't seein' results
See, it's my fault, I'm dead, I ain't feedin' a pulse
Readin' tall stories, War and Peace, relief and assault
I'm going in, like hand me the keys to the vault
I'm anything but a jealous being, who's ego is lost
Should I let it be, like the letter B, tell Nico I'm sorry
I didn't make it like I promised, failure not an option
[?] dedication, 'till I'm layin' in my coffin
Or a suicide, and you will find me hangin' in the closet
[?], note: explainin' what I wanted
'Cause my pop's success, like being famous is such a problem
I'm a product of a monster
I'm an offspring of a rocker
Platinum albums on this wall wouldn't accolade
Thinkin' how the hell could I match that, that's insane
No, insane is wanting fame deep down
This is to whoever relates, someone reach out
[Chorus: Anja Plaschg]
Fold down your hands
Give me a sign
Hooked on your lies
Lay down next to me
Don't listen when I scream
Bury your doubts and fall asleep
[Outro]
I'm not saying I'm content with just being at this stage
But, I could die today happy, and that's straight up, you know what I'm sayin'?
I'm happy
This is shit that I always said "I wish I could do."
I'm doin' this shit
People appreciate my art, they know me for my art
I'm goin' to continue doing what I've been doing until it's my time to go
I'ma make mistakes, I'ma make some headlines, I'ma make people happy and I'ma piss people off
But, I'ma do me. And I'ma be me. Until it's my time to, y'know, lay it all down