[Verse 1: Anna Akana, Chuck Todd, Kellyanne Conway]
Chuck
Why put him out there for the very first time
To utter a falsehood
You’re saying it’s a falsehood
They’re giving
Alternative facts
Alternative facts?
Alternative facts
Why did he do that
Alternative facts are much better than truth
Anything you don’t like you can substitute
With a much better version of reality
Like right now i’m on a boat in the Caspian Sea
Sippin champagne while you count cash for me
Making sure i got my 8-figure salary
Why?
Alternative facts
Alternative facts?
Alternative facts
Why did he do that
Alternative facts are not facts, they’re falsehoods
Don’t be so overly dramatic about it

[Verse 2: Senator Lisa Murkowski, Katie Couric, Andrew Gregory]
Are you bracing yourself for a critical tweet
I cannot live in fear of a tweet, tweet
We need to work for the people that we represent
Not fear a tweet by the President
But don’t you know that a tweet can kill
Look at what happened with Drake and Meek Mill
I cannot live in fear of a tweet, tweet
[Verse 3: Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, Michael Gregory]
Our relationship is built on mutual respect
Relationships between neighbors are complex
The last thing Canadians expect
Is for me to come lecture you on what’s correct
Oh, that’s how they do a Canadian diss track
Be so polite you can’t even fight back
Our responsibility is to connect, project,
and reflect respect to the world (OH!)
Merci beaucoup (OH!)

[Verse 4: Stephen Miller, George Stephanopoulos]
Dead people voting, dead people voting
We should be aghast about the fact
Of dead people voting
You have provided zero evidence
We can talk about it more in the future
Do you have any evidence?
We know for a fact, nobody disputes that
Zero evidence
The whole world will soon see
The powers of the president
Will not
be
questioned
[Verse 5: Kellyanne Conway, Don Lemon/John Dickerson/ABC News/CBSN, Donald Trump]
General Flynn enjoys the confidence of the President
Breaking news, Michael Flynn has resigned
Two Iraqis were the masterminds behind the Bowling Green Massacre
A massacre in Bowling Green never happened
Did anyone in Trump’s campaign have contact with Russians?
Absolutely not, not
New allegations of connections to Russia
Quiet, Russia is fake news, quiet quiet quiet

[Verse 6: Kellyanne Conway, Evan Gregory]
I’m sorry, I’ve spoken millions of words on TV
So many words
I know what it’s like to have the haters descend upon me
So many haters, yeah
When you’re on TV saying so many words
You can’t help but drop a couple little turds
But if it smells bad you should just relax
And spray the Febreze of Alternative Facts!

[Outro]
Alternative Facts
Dead People Voting
Alternative Facts
Tweeeeeeet
This was the largest inauguration PERIOD
In the history of our nation
PERIOD
Why (Alternative Facts)
The leaks are real, the news is fake PERIOD
Drugs are cheaper than candy bars PERIOD
Alternative Facts
Alternative Facts?
Alternative Facts
Why did he do that?