[Verse 1: Puff Puff Humbert]
I hate on traffic just as much as the next guy
I'd try and bypass them if these bastards would just drive
Rush hour all day stuck in hell, bumper to bumper such a fail
Stuck in jail, my truck's a cell, I'd rather stab my brain with a rusty nail
'Cause when I'm driving I'm driven
And every ride that I sit in I lose my mind I admit it
And I'm quick to trip and lose my grip and flip you the bird
And I'll rage just like the nerd
Yeah, I see you in your Lexus, rubber-necking, checking messages
Texting for directions while you're googling nekkid breastesses
These other drivers, they're all brain dead
I swear the traffic lights see me and they all change red
I thought driving was basic, but I ain't got no patience
This old lady needs LASIKs, I think I'm going apeshit
'Cause my lane is looking like a line at the Chinese drive-thru
Why's everyone gotta drive at the same time I do?

[Chorus: Benatar]
Hey man, I'm just trying to drive
It feels more like I'm trying to stay alive
The only thing you're driving is driving me crazy
And I'm getting road rage
I'm just trying to merge
You better back off 'cause I'm on the verge
I'm losing my cool
Yeah, you better get over
'Cause here comes the road rage
[Interlude: Puff Puff Humbert]
Oh, don't make me get out the car
I-I'll come over there old lady
Awh! Oooh! Ooh!

[Verse 2: Puff Puff Humbert]
Alright, here we go
Why your bumper stickers preaching telling me to go vegan
I'll moon your grandmother in traffic 'til she pulls over screaming
I go crazy on old ladies in Mercedes, they hate me
Well, maybe I wouldn't be raging if you weren't driving Miss Daisy
I'm not speed racing, I'm impatient with the way shit goes in traffic
It so happens that I have to embrace it, look what I'm facing
Ladies doing makeup, dudes shaving
While the same five songs play on the radio station
The same five songs, the same five songs
The radio station, they play the same five songs
The same five songs, the same five songs
The radio station, they play the same fucking songs

[Chorus: Benatar]
Hey man, I'm just trying to drive
It feels more like I'm trying to stay alive
The only thing you're driving is driving me crazy
And I'm getting road rage
I'm just cruising along
Then you go and cut me off
Did I do something wrong
Now I'm following you back to your home
And I got road rage
[Bridge: Benatar]
Hey man, why you going so slow?
One thing you ought to know is I'm the king of the road
The only thing you're driving is driving me crazy
'Cause I got that road rage
And why you going so fast?
Giving the middle finger to the people you pass
Now I'm following you back to your home
'Cause I got that road rage
Road rage!
Road rage!
Road rage!

[Chorus: Benatar]
Hey man, I'm just trying to drive
It feels more like I'm trying to stay alive
The only thing you're driving is driving me crazy
Oh! I'm just trying to merge
And you better back off 'cause I'm on the verge
I'm losing my cool
I got road rage

[Outro: Puff Puff Humbert]
Ah, I'm finally here
Oh my God! There's nowhere to park!
I hate my life!