Started for no apparent reason
Tried to conceal it so no one would witness
The stains it would leave on my white shirt sleeve
Keep it secret
Tried misdirection but noone believed it

Tried to present an alternate scheme
But all in all they sent me to the nurse again
Time to prepare for steps you’ve not been taking
Breathe a deep breath while I listen here
Still terrified of taking off my shirt again
All I wanted was to disintegrate

They managed to take our picture
Peeling back the yearbook cover
Seeing our own stature
We held our peace

Hey is everything okay?
Haven’t talked in several days
Keep it secret
We went back the way we came

If we bury the seed in the ground
Adhering to the proper sequence
Then the torrent came
Then it swelled with rage
Then it split and splayed
Into pieces
Did we even feed it
Did it even matter?
We’re marked by the scene
Even if it’s only in a dream
(simple pattern weighted toward)
Disaster follows after me
Then she came
Keep it secret

Then did you know, he said, did you know
They had to keep the school from burning down again
So they had installed asbestos under the tile on the floor
Then he said, then he said
If you breathe
If you breathe the dust kicking up
You’ll come down with a disease

Everything’s alright, you spent several hours last night
Pulling all your posters down then putting them
Back in their place, exactly the same way

But now everything’s fine, you’re calling just to say
Everything’s alright, an ill refined to
Conceal our bandages from whom they’ll hurt the most
Even though we want them to know, to see
There was permanence in our deceit
So the vessel flows
To crash and capsize and roll us over

We take no witness, take no heed of faith
For we just want to suffer from a storm we know
Still ashamed of callousing hands
Ashamed of the shape, the way they used to be
(roll us over, keep its secret)
Underneath
Steel surface
Secretly we
Bleed