[Verse 1]
In yellow shoes, I get the blues
So I walk the streets with my plastic feet
With blue velvet trousers make me feel pink
There's a kind of stink about blue velvet trousers
In my paisley shirt, I look a jerk
And my turquoise waistcoat is quite out of sight
But oh, oh, my haircut looks so bad

[Refrain]
Vegetable man, where are you?

[Verse 2]
So I change my gear, and I find my knees
And I cover them up with the latest cut
And my pants and socks, I bought in a box
It don't take long to buy nylon socks
The watch, black watch, my watch, with a black face
Acetate, and a little hole and all the lot
Is what I've got, it's what I wear
It's what you see, it must be me
It's what I am

[Refrain]
Vegetable man, where are you?
[Bridge]
Ha-ha, ha, ha-ha, ha
Ha, ha-ha, ha, ha-ha, ha
Oh, I've been looking all over the place for a place for me
But it ain't anywhere, it just ain't anywhere

[Outro]
Vegetable man (Vegetable man)
Vegetable man (Vegetable man)
Vegetable man (Vegetable man)
Vegetable man
He's the kind of fella, you're just gonna see him if you can
Vegetable man