[Spoken: Rachel]
Hey, Mom, how was your trip to Puerto Rico?

[Spoken: Mom]
Oh, it was great! Did you know they have a very strong Jewish community there?

[Spoken: Rachel]
Really? No, I did not know that. Huh, you and Dad just manage to find Jews wherever you go, don't you?

[Spoken: Mom]
Oh, it's fantastic! They have an old synagogue on the beach. I had a kreplach made with pinto beans! I brought you back some wonderful things from the Jewish Quarter: a menorah made from driftwood and a...

[Verse 1: Rachel]
London, Paris, or Milan
Shopping for Judaica
Plane to Venice, off to Rome
To buy some more Judaica
Mezuzah painted by Marc Chagall
Acropolis-shaped matzah ball
Rabbi in a gondola
Judaica, Judaica

[Chorus]
Ahh, Ahh
Ahh, Ahh
[Verse 2: Rachel]
Sailing the coast of Monte Carlo
Shopping for Judaica
Dancing all night at the club
Waiting for thе Judaica store to open
Tower of Pisa on a drеidel
Moses on a pasta ladle
Kiddish cup just for my niece
Judaica, Judaica

[Chorus]
Ahh, Ahh
Ahh, Ahh

[Verse 3: Rachel]
In any city that I'm in
I find the Holocaust museum
Watch Jakob the Liar on the hotel telly
And I'll find the deli in New Delhi

[Chorus]
Ahh, Ahh

[Verse 4: Rachel]
Book about the Jews of Paris
Book about the Jews of Madrid
Book about the Jews of London
Spoiler alert: they're all dead
[Outro: Rachel]
Judaica, Judaica
Judaica, Judaica
Judaica, Judaica
Judaica, Judaica
Judaica, Judaica
Judaica, Judaica