[Chorus: All]
Chanukah, Chanukah
Happy epic Chanukah
Chanukah, Chanukah
Time to celebrate

[Verse 1: Rachel Bloom]
On the first night of Chanukah
Jews all wait for the bearded man in a sleigh
No, not Santa Claus, it's God
You might know him as Yahweh
He’s led by a herd of Woody Allen clones
And in the front is Woody Allen with his big, red nose
God doesn't make the trip in one night, he takes eight
He's gotta stop for bathroom breaks
(God has a sensitive Jew stomach)

[Chorus: All]
Chanukah, Chanukah
Stop to pee for Chanukah
Chanukah, Chanukah
God needs to use your bathroom

[Verse 2: Rachel Bloom]
As God is throwing matzo balls into windows
And the deer quotes Annie Hall
God’s met in the sky by General Zod
Who challenges him to a brawl
That's why latkes exist
For God to carbo load
So he can get into battle mode
He knocks Zod out, with a blow to the chin
Then God puts Zod in dreidel prison
(That's why we spin the dreidel
To keep Zod dizzy)
[Chorus: All]
Chanukah, Chanukah
Fighting Zod on Chanukah
Chanukah, Chanukah
God needs to use your bathroom, again!

[Verse 3: Rachel Bloom]
Now that Zod is vanquished
It's time to celebrate
And God knows just the thing
He pops champagne, sets up a stage, and hires Barbra Streisand to sing
(That's the gelt for to pay Barbra Streisand for singing if she demands payment in gold coins)

[Chorus: All]
Chanukah, Chanukah
Dizzy Zod on Chanukah
Chanukah, Chanukah
Gelt for Barbra Streisand
Chanukah, Chanukah
Woody Allen reindeer
Chanukah, Chanukah
Happy epic Chanukah