(Woah oh oh)
(Woah oh oh)
(Woah oh oh)
(Woah oh oh)

Santa Claus is in the closet
Santa's in the water closet
Takin' off his leotard
Red PJs, underwear
Overalls

(Presents for you)
(Presents for you)
(Presents for you)

Santa's gone and lost his apron
Santa's cooking up some bacon
Santa's loose and on the lam
And Grandpa took a micro-nap

(Woah oh oh)
(Woah oh oh)
(Woah oh oh)
(Woah oh oh)

Santa's in the closet
So I have to hurry
Sister's having an affair with a red garden gnome
Sixty candles, make a wish
Santa's cake is on the dish
Teddy Ruxpin walking slow
Walking out the kitchen door

(Presents for you)
(Presents for you)
(Presents for you)

Santa Claus is in the closet
Santa's in the water closet
Takin' off his leotard
Red PJs, underwear
Overalls

(Woah oh oh)
(Woah oh oh)
(Woah oh oh)
(Woah oh oh)

Eighteen karat, ginger snap
Pedal pushers coming back
Santa loves his burlap bag
And Daddy doesn't know jack

Track and field is such a bore
Sporty Spice is at the door
Myspace is a human trap
And Daddy doesn't know jack
(Presents for you)
(Presents for you)
(Presents for you)

Up three storeys, pull the latch
Mount the footsteps down the hatch
Santa's weeping on the floor
And Sinbad's making snow cones

(Woah oh oh)
(Woah oh oh)
(Woah oh oh)
(Woah oh oh)

Santa Claus is at the bar
Santa wants to break the law
Santa's goin', goin' down
And Santa wants to go to town

(Woah oh oh)
(Woah oh oh)
(Woah oh oh)
(Woah oh oh)

Eighteen karat, ginger snap
Pedal pushers coming back
Santa loves his burlap bag
And Daddy doesn't know jack
Santa's sleeping in the closet
With paintings of Farrah Fawcett
I don't know how he got them
Or what he's doing here