[Verse 1: Jon Cozart w/Kingsley/Joe Penna/MysteryGuitarMan, w/Flula Borg/Anna Akana & w/everyone]
I'm a famous clown in a flower crown
My friends are dictated by similar subscriber counts
My channel takes you through my bedroom routine
It's just between you and me and 100,000 other tweens
Don't care for money, don't care about the fame
I'm just collabing with my friends, though I only know their screennames
After five minutes a week you think you know me offline
I exploit fandoms for a bottom
Line! I-I-I-I
Conjure fame with challenge vids and
I-I-I-I-I
Play drinking games to target kids and
I hope Lucifer will sell me a selfie stick in hell
Whee!

[Chorus: Jon (Everyone)]
Welcome, welcome to the YouTube Culture
(The YouTube Cult)

[Verse 2]
[Jon (w/Timothy DeLaGhetto), Steve Zaragoza, Anna Akana & jacksfilms]
Hey guys, I'm on tour
So tug on mommy's hair
If she pays two hundred bucks you can meet-and-greet a (millionaire)
H-h-hopping town to town in my first class flight
Which you kinda paid for when you bought my book I didn't write
YouTubers had morals back in 2011
More virgins were at VidCon than in al-Qaeda heaven
Now we're snorting lines of cinnamon, copycat cashing in
Quality to quantity
[EVERYONE:]
It's Kubrick to Kardashian
[Pre-Chorus: Jon w/Flula/MysteryGuitarMan & w/Akana/Kingsley]
I-I-I-I-I
Idolize your idle eyes and
I-I-I-I-I'm
Monetizing kissing guys and
I won't come out the closet till I've got something to sell about it

[Chorus: Jon & everyone]
Welcome, welcome to my YouTube Lifestyle
YouTube Lie
Welcome, welcome to the YouTube Culture
The YouTube Cult

[Bridge: Jon]
There's a mystery to being at the top
People think I'm divine
But the truth is we're not heroes
We just play some online

[Kingsley]
I'm like Hercules
[Flula]
Or Thor
[Jon (With Kingsley & Flula)]
With a slightly slimmer bod
'Cause, yeah, I'm just a normal guy but (also I'm a god)
So I didn't write my book
[Kingsley]
Jesus didn't write the bible
[Jon (Akana)]
I spread my message through the land with twelve (year-old!)
[Timothy]
Disciples
[Zaragoza]
I got more slave followers than Moses at the Red Sea
[Akana]
They purchase my biography, despite the fact I'm twenty-three
[Jon (Akana, Zaragoza, Timothy)]
So (love me!) and I'll love you more
'Cause I love the way you love me, my church is a merch store

[Pre-Chorus]
[Jon]
I-I-I
[Jon, Flula, Jacksfilms, Zaragoza]
I'm privileged, white, and rich, and male, and
[Jon]
You-ou-ou are not
[Jon, Flula, Jacksfilms]
So worship at my YouTube sale
[Jon (With Flula, Jacksfilms, Zaragoza)]
I put the "I" in defy and suddenly you (deify me!)

[Chorus: Jon & everyone]
Welcome, welcome to the YouTube sensation
The YouTube sin
Welcome, welcome to my YouTube lifestyle
YouTube lie
Welcome, welcome, na, na
Welcome, welcome, na, na
Welcome, welcome, I said
Welcome to the YouTube Cult
Cheers!
[Outro: Anna Akana]
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