[KO-KO]
The criminal cried, as he dropped him down
In a state of wild alarm -
With a frightful, frantic, fearful frown
I bared my big right arm
I seized him by his little pig-tail
And on his knees fell he
As he squirmed and struggled
And gurgled and guggled
I drew my snickersnee
My snickersnee!

Oh, never shall I
Forget the cry
Or the shriek that shrieked he
As I gnashed my teeth
When from its sheath
I drew my snickersnee!

[Chorus]
We know him well
He cannot tell
Untrue or groundless tales —
He always tries
To utter lies
And every time he fails
[PITTI-SING]
He shivered and shook as he gave the sign
For the stroke he didn't deserve;
When all of a sudden his eye met mine
And it seemed to brace his nerve;
For he nodded his head and kissed his hand
And he whistled an air, did he
As the sabre true
Cut cleanly through
His cervical vertebrae
His vertebrae!

When a man's afraid
A beautiful maid
Is a cheering sight to see;
And it's oh, I'm glad
That moment sad
Was soothed by sight of me!

[Chorus]
Her terrible tale
You can't assail
With truth it quite agrees:
Her taste exact
For faultless fact
Amounts to a disease
[POOH-BAH]
Now though you'd have said that head was dead
(For its owner dead was he)
It stood on its neck, with a smile well-bred
And bowed three times to me!
It was none of your impudent off-hand nods
But as humble as could be;
For it clearly knew
The deference due
To a man of pedigree
Of pedigree!

And it's oh, I vow
This deathly bow
Was a touching sight to see;
Though trunkless, yet
It couldn't forget
The deference due to me!

[Chorus]
This haughty youth
He speaks the truth
Whenever he finds it pays:
And in this case
It all took place
Exactly as he says!
Exactly, exactly, exactly
Exactly as he says!