[Intro, Phyllis]
Oh, shameless one, tremble!
Nay, do not endeavour
Thy fault to dissemble
We part — and for ever!
I worshipped him blindly
He worships another!
[Strephon]
Attend to me kindly
This lady's my mother!

[Earl Tolloller]
This lady's his what?
[Strephon]
This lady's my mother!
[Tenor Peers]
This lady's his what?
[Bass Peers]
He says she's his mother!
Ha, ha, ha
Ha, ha, ha
Ha, ha, ha

[Lord Chancellor]
What means this mirth unseemly
That shakes the listening earth?
[Tolloller]
The joke is good extremely
And justifies our mirth
[Verse, Earl Mountararat]
This gentleman is seen
With a maid of seventeen
A-taking of his dolce far niente;
And wonders he'd achieve
For he asks us to believe
She's his mother — and he's nearly five-and-twenty!

[Verse, Lord Chancellor]
Recollect yourself, I pray
And be careful what you say —
As the ancient Romans said, festina lente
For I really do not see
How so young a girl could be
The mother of a man of five-and-twenty
[Peers]
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!