Anthony Ramos
Aaron Burr, Sir (2014 Workshop)
[COMPANY]
1776, New York City

[HAMILTON]
Pardon me. Are you Aaron Burr, sir?

[BURR]
That depends, who’s asking?

[HAMILTON]
Oh, sure, sir
I’m Alexander Hamilton, I’m at your service, sir
I have been looking for you

[BURR]
I’m getting nervous

[HAMILTON]
Sir…
I heard your name at Princeton. I was seeking an accelerated course of study when I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours. I may have punched him. It’s a blur, sir. He handles the financials?

[BURR]
You punched the bursar

[HAMILTON]
Yes!
I wanted to do what you did. Graduate in two, then join the revolution. He looked at me like I was stupid, I’m not stupid
So how’d you do it? How’d you graduate so fast?
[BURR]
It was my parents’ dying wish before they passed

[HAMILTON]
You’re an orphan. Of course! I’m an orphan
God, I wish there was a war!
We could prove that we’re worth more
Than anyone bargained for…

[BURR]
Can I buy you a drink?

[HAMILTON]
That would be nice

[BURR]
While we’re talking, let me offer you some free advice
Talk less

[HAMILTON]
Heh, what?

[BURR]
Smile more

[HAMILTON]
Ha
[BURR]
Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for

[HAMILTON]
You can’t be serious

[BURR]
You wanna get ahead?

[HAMILTON]
Yes

[BURR]
Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead

[LAURENS]
Yo yo yo yo yo!
Yo yo yo yo yo!

[BURR]
…like I said…

[LAURENS]
Yo yo yo yo, I said
I’m John Laurens in the place to be!
Two pints o’ Sam Adams, and I’m workin’ on three, uh!
These redcoats don’t want it with me!
Cuz I will pop chick-a pop these cops till I’m free!
[LAFAYETTE]
Oui oui, mon ami, je m’appelle Lafayette!
The Lancelot of the revolutionary set!
I came from afar just to say “Bonsoir!”
Tell the King “Casse toi!” Who’s the best?
C’est moi!

[MULLIGAN]
Brrrah, brraaah! I am Hercules Mulligan
Up in it, lovin’ it, yes I heard ya mother said

[LAFAYETTE & LAURENS]
“Come again?”

[MULLIGAN]
Lock up ya daughters and horses, of course
It’s hard to have intercourse over four sets of corsets…

[LAFAYETTE]
Oh...

[LAURENS]
No more sex, pour me another brew, son!
Let’s raise a couple more…

[LAURENS/LAFAYETTE/MULLIGAN]
To the revolution!

[LAURENS]
Well, if it ain’t the prodigy of Princeton college!

[MULLIGAN]
Aaron Burr!

[LAURENS]
Give us a verse, drop some knowledge!

[BURR]
Good luck with that: you’re takin’ a stand
You spit. I’m ‘a sit. We’ll see where we land

[LAFAYETTE/MULLIGAN]
Boooo!

[LAURENS]
Burr, the revolution’s imminent. What do you stall for?

[HAMILTON]
If you stand for nothing, Burr, what will you fall for?