Na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na

Stack up donuts, pack up the pies
Put on the trenchcoat, rack up the lies
Overcast sky and the pines are swaying
The bird gets the worm so I'm up in the AM
Gotta crack a case in a place called Peaks
Where the lights all blink and your outlook's bleak
Got a lot of caffeine; interrogating teens cause
The homecoming queen just rolled up on the beach
Wrapped in plastic, white as a sheet
Gave a heart attack to a man name Pete
Who couldn't make coffee, he offered it kindly
Tasted like fish, can't put it behind me
Back to the hood got a mug of damn good
They say somethin black is in the back woods
The owl's in disguise and the boys are in the book house
Just like Elm Street, know you better look out
Nothing in this world ever could prepare me
Think later on I maybe need some therapy
Talkin to myself, my reflection scares me
If I'm gonna die I'll have pie make it cherry
(Cherry, cherry, cherry, cherry) That's right
Motherfucker, word up!
[Chorus]
This pie's so good it is a crime
This pie's so good it is a crime
This pie's so good it is a crime
This pie's so good it is a crime
This pie's so good it is a crime
This pie's so good it is a crime
Excuse me while I break this rhyme
Excuse me while I break this rhyme

Was it Audrey, oh so tawdry, freshly squeezed little tease?
Was it the baddie, Audrey's daddy, busy buying Twin Peaks?
Was it Leland, his attorney, always straightening his tie?
Was it Norma? She's a killer I'm still waitin for pie
Was it Jacoby? He's an oldie; used to run with the gangs
Was it Harold Smith, or was his crime that he's just lame?
Was it Donna, the elitist, packin peaches for James?
Was it Bobby Briggs? I think it is, keep hearin his name
Was it Leo? He's a creepo and his ponytail is evil
And he got a lot of screen time in the unpopular prequel
This detective got diminished so they could finish with Kiefer
But I saw Kristin Davis naked she got fish in her beaver (what?)

[Chorus]

Name is Cooper, I'm in a stupor
Lying flat in a stained wood room
Usually strapped, but I just got capped
By a man in black or so you would assume
A dude like Lurch says on with the search
Will you dare to dream like you did in Dune?
So I got three clues, and a gun shot wound
And a tick bite bruise, but what'cha gonna do?
The breeze in the trees will squeeze out your soul
Like that shit was tartar control
Murder she wrote, nobody wrote back
Gotta bust a ghost no proton pack
That's right, I put a Ghostbusters reference
In a song about Twin Peaks - everybody's happy!!
[Chorus]