I don't smoke blunts Cause I'm frugal with my dookie
I hock a loogie, spit it out then hit the hoochies
I'm on bud like Hux. comma Rudy
It's my duty to get loopy on the Buddha like it's booty
I smoke fields I cold cock crops
I smoke peels smoke Robe cough drops
I smoke if it's green I smoke Monopoly homes
It spices up my life when the monotony drones
I smoke bags, smoke bails, smoke 'till I see trails
Only time I put it down Is when I see a female
Just a minor detail that'll usually pass
I'll hit that ass, hit that glass packed tight with the grass
I smoke Greedo I smoke Kermit
I smoke the weed 'Til it makes me vermit
I vote third party That's code for get high
Now come on pass the Yoshi To the left hand side
Smokey doesn't like me Cause I burn up his trees
I smoke more sesame seeds than I was Mayor McCheese
I'm just a cancer ridden MC Seekin' pain relief
Pass the marijuana Hit it, hold in, release

Call me Dirty D 'cause the question's what the dilly
Fucked up like it's whisky and I'm fuckin' punkabilly
Fuck Tennessee, I'm Chumley getting chilly
Mc chris smoke tooth pick spliffs, fuck a philly
I'll scrape your bong steal roaches from your ashtray
I'll rent nice dreams I'll rent Half Baked
I'll eat a box of Frosted Flakes because they taste great
Only leads to cat nap doesn't lead to date rape
Light the incense turn on the black light
Steady stressin' let's get stoned like stalactites
Break it out, break it up Pack it the bag pipes
I hit that apple And I ended up at Applebee's
Went to Wendy's, went to Denny's, went to Mickey D's
I went to Crystal, went to Castle, went where I pleased
Ate more meat and cheese than Mr. Dom Deluise
I slept all day and I got nothing accomplished
Just being honest I get paranoid and nauseous
I get obnoxious It's not comin' at a constant
It's a pipe not a pulpit, pass it on Or get accosted

Call me Dirty D 'cause the question's what the dilly
Fucked up like it's whisky and I'm fuckin' punkabilly
Fuck Tennessee, I'm Chumley getting chilly
Mc chris smoke tooth pick spliffs, fuck a philly