Some people might like to get a train to work
Or drive in in a Beemer or a Merc
Some guys like to travel in by bus
But I can't be bothered with the fuss
Today I got to take my bike
'Cause once again the Tube's on strike
The greedy bastards want extra pay
For sitting their arse all day
Even though they earn 30k
So I'm standing here in the pouring rain
Where the fuck's my fucking train?

London Underground
(London Underground)
They're all lazy fucking useless cunts
London Underground
(London Underground)
They're all greedy cunts
I want to shoot them all with a rifle

All they say is, "Please mind the doors"
And they learn that on their two-day course
This job could be done by a four-year-old
They just leave us freezing in the cold
What you smell is what you get:
Burger King and piss and sweat
You roast to death in the boiling heat
With tourists treading on your feet
And chewing gum [nail bombs] on every seat
So don't tell me to mind the gap
I want my fucking money back!
London Underground
(London Underground)
They're all lazy fucking useless cunts
London Underground
(London Underground)
They're all greedy cunts
I want to shoot them all with a rifle

La-l-la-la, la-l-la-la

The floors are sticky and the seats are damp
Every platform has a fucking tramp
But the drivers get the day off when
We're all late for work again

London Underground
(London Underground)
Wa-wa-wankers, they're all wankers
London Underground
(London Underground)
Take your Oyster card and shove it up your arsehole