Ray Davies
Jack the Idiot Dunce
Who's the fool with the cross-eyed stare?
The turned up nose and moronic glare?
Who's that simpleton standing over there?
Jack, Jack the Idiot Dunce

Who's that dumb-looking freckle-faced runt?
Jack, Jack the Idiot Dunce
He walks like his feet are on back to front
Jack, Jack the Idiot Dunce

When he waddles down the street he looks kind of queer
Jack, Jack the Idiot Dunce
'Cause he's got two left feet and taxi-door ears
Jack, Jack the Idiot Dunce

And when we laugh at the clothes he wears
Jack just smiles, 'cause he don't care
Who's that fool? Who's that ninny?
Who's that twit? Who's that chump?
The Idiot Dunce, the Idiot Dunce

Who is always the bottom of the class?
Jack, Jack the Idiot Dunce
Who's a fool? Who's a boob?
Who's a kook and an ass?
Jack, Jack the Idiot Dunce
When we take examinations, he never gets a pass
Jack, Jack the Idiot Dunce
And we all put him down, 'cause he can't think fast
Jack, Jack the Idiot Dunce
We ridicule him and punch him around
But Jack just laughs and stands his ground
The Idiot Dunce, the Idiot Dunce

Yeah, he's so uncoordinated
Oh, and so disorientated
And when we have a High School Hop
You ought to see that idiot bop
And his arms and his legs
Seem to have minds of their own
And you don't need brains
To have educated muscles and bones

Yeah, you ought to see him dance
He moves like he's in a trance
And when we have a High School Hop
You ought to see that idiot rock
And he's finally proved
That you don't need a high IQ
To make your body move
Now he's created a dance that everybody's trying to do
Jack, Jack the Idiot Dunce
(Do the Idiot Dunce)
All right, put your finger on your nose (Do the Idiot Dunce)
Now cross those eyes (Do the Idiot Dunce)
Put your hands on your hips (Do the Idiot Dunce)
Now wiggle your backside (Do the Idiot Dunce)
Yeah, so now you've got the knack
To do the Idiot Jack
From your head to the tips of your toes

Now the whole world's doing it and everybody knows
Jack, Jack the Idiot Dunce
He's a real cool cat and a real gone groove
Jack, Jack the Idiot Dunce

And the girls go crazy when he starts to move
Jack, Jack the Idiot Dunce
Jack's a success, he's got nothing to prove
Jack, Jack the Idiot Dunce

Even though Jack is dim
His mother is so proud of him
“Hey, who's that groovy looking dude dancing with all the chicks?”
The Idiot Dunce, the Idiot Dunce
Uh, uh