[Verse 1]
Stagecoach lady, hourglass body
Making things glow in the night
Well, she would if she could, and she'd be good if she would only
Tell her lover she be out tonight

[Chorus]
Because I'm a bad
A lonely school boy
And I'm a rat
And it's too bad, can't get me none of that!

[Verse 2]
Salt Lake City, salt-licking bitties
Bogies turn, stinking of gin
Well my daddy was hard, his face was pretty scarred
From kicking ass and playing poker to win

[Chorus]
Because I'm a bad
A lonely school boy
And I'm a rat
And it's too bad, can't get me none of that!
It's too bad

[Guitar Solo]
[Post-Chorus]
And it's too bad
Can't get me none of that!

[Verse 3]
Loose sold lady, my mama Katie
Chivalry was born at her feet
Well she should have thought twice
When pa showed his dice
The night they put my daddy to sleep

[Chorus]
Because I'm a bad
A lonely school boy
And I'm a rat
And it's too bad, can't get me none of that!

It's too bad, Lord, it's too bad!
I said it's too bad, Lord, it's too bad!
I said it's too bad, it's too bad!
You know it's too bad, it's too bad!