[Verse 1]
Two weeks all she's had for for lunch
Is diet pills and Captain Crunch
Eyes lined like Tammy Faye Baker
Cut her hair off with a razor
She's wearin' her wedding dress
And God only knows what comes next

[Chorus]
Call the Sheriff, call the shrink
She's on quicksand, 'bout to sink
You got around and it got around
Yeah, you were on the verge of a nervous breakdown

[Verse 2]
Yards of rope up in the attic
Grandpas loaded automatic
Liquid Draino Clorox bleach
And kitchen knives all within reach
She swears she won't hurt herself
But she might hurt somebody else

[Chorus]
Call the Sheriff, call the shrink
She's on quicksand, 'bout to sink
You got around and it got around
Yeah, you were on the verge of a nervous breakdown
[Bridge]
Did your laundry, cooked your dinner
Never saw the crazy in her
We're all one heart break away
From temporarily insane

[Chorus]
Call the Sheriff, call the shrink
She's on quicksand, 'bout to sink
You got around and it got around
The crazy train has come to town
You better head for higher ground
The women's on the verge of a nervous breakdown