Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk tonight
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk tonight
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk in here

Tonight's the night we're gonna get plastered
Pissed off, maybe we'll get laid, too
Booze on your breath always makes girls horny
So come on, boys, let's chug a few

Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk tonight
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk, oh yeah

People pouring in the front door
Most of them I've never seen in my life
I hear the sound of windows breaking
Who just lit the couch on fire?

Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk tonight
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk tonight
And if you're coming here
Don't forget to have yourself a beer

There's two girls throwing up in the bathroom
A good friend holds your hair back when you puke
Tonight's the night, so grab your whatever
Lift your something, here's a toast to you

We're all gonna get drunk
Oh, we're all gonna get drunk
Oh, wait, we're already drunk

Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk tonight
Everybody's drunk
Everybody's drunk, whoa

La la la la la la la
Uh, actually, I'm not drunk. At all
La la la la la la la
No, I've got to drive all these people home
La la la la la la la
Have a good time
La la la!
...assholes
Hey, man, be careful
Brush my shoes off
Hey, I don't feel so good
Use the trash can!
There is no trash can!