[Little Boy:]
Hey, has anybody seen grandma?

[Chorus:]
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe
She'd been drinking too much eggnog
And we'd begged her not to go
But she'd left her medication
So she stumbled out the door into the snow
When they found her Christmas morning
At the scene of the attack
There were hoof prints on her forehead
And incriminating Claus marks on her back
1! 2! 3! 4!

[Chorus]
Now were all so proud of Grandpa
He's been taking this so well
See him in there watching football
Drinking beer and playing cards with cousin Belle
It's not Christmas without Grandma
All the family's dressed in black
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?
(SEND THEM BACK!)
[Chorus]
Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig
And a blue and silver candles
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig
I've warned all my friends and neighbors
Better watch out for yourselves
They should never give a license
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves

[Chorus x2]
As for me and Grandpa we believe
As for me and Grandpa we believe
[Little boy:]
Has anybody seen Grandma?
Anyone. Anyone!