[spoken]
Wait 'til I get my hands on those young'uns!
They'll get what for!
And no one can do a thing to Old Snipes!
Ho-ho! Ha!

[sung]
I'm mean, sour, crafty and cruel
I get my pleasure makin' a fool
Of people who go by the Golden Rule

[spoken]
Ha-ha-ho! They don't have a chance! Ha!

[sung]
I does it legal
Everything accordin' to the law
I'm the slyest, thorniest, downright orneriest bloke you ever saw!

I'm mean, sour, crafty and cruel
I'll grab those kids before they can think
And throw 'em in the workhouse, quick as a wink!

[spoken]
Ha-ha-ho! That'll teach 'em! Ha-ha!
Nobody can pull anything over on Old Snipes!
[sung]
I does it legal
Everything accordin' to the law
I'm the slyest, thorniest, downright orneriest bloke you ever saw!

I'm mean, sour, crafty and cruel
I'll grab those kids before they can think
Throw 'em in the workhouse, quick as a wink!

[spoken]
That'll teach 'em! Ha-ha! Ho-ho!