[Verse 1]
Granny and Grandpa
Won’t you go away
Please find somewhere else
To spend your holiday
Granny looks livid
Grandpa’s got his cane
Now my Christmas spirit’s
Going down the drain

[Pre-Chorus]
Nowhere is safe to hide
Maybe I could jack their ride
Where do we keep spare fuel
Why does it smell like stool?

[Chorus]
If I want to outrun Granny
There’s a couple things I need
Like a taser and some ammo
And a shotgun, yes indeed
All the doors are super squeaky
And the floors are creaky, too
So I’d best be extra sneaky
Or else- “I SEE YOU!”
[Verse 2]
Granny is lurking
Grandpa, where you at?
Granny’s gonna kill me with
A baseball bat
Into the closet
Better hold my breath
Something stinks to heaven
Like Depends and death

[Pre-Chorus]
Just three more things to find
Nothing to hide behind
Moving so silently
This may end violently

[Chorus]
There’s no chance of me escaping
If I can’t repair this car
But its pieces are all missing
And I don’t know where they are
Grandpa’s shambling through the pantry
And I know just what he’ll do
First he’ll trap me and start screaming
At me- “I SEE YOU!”
“I SEE YOU!”
“I SEE YOU!”
[Verse 3]
Grandpa’s unconscious
That’s all right with me
Hope he isn’t angry
That I took his key
Where is the spark plug
What’s it even do
Maybe I could call an Uber-
“I SEE YOU!”

[Pre-Chorus]
One fewer foe at least
Grandpa’s a straight-up beast
Where did my shotgun go?
Odds of survival, low

[Chorus]
I hear Granny’s soggy footsteps
And the thump of Grandpa’s boots
I smell Granny’s rotten perfume
And the funk of Grandpa’s toots
If I do not find the spark plug
Then I can’t escape this house
I’ll get beat to death by Granny
And her evil, undead spouse
Then they’ll cook me and they’ll eat me
Or they’ll feed me to their child
Or the pets and hungry monsters
In their basement running wild
[Outro]
If this turns the engine over
Then I’ll bid them both adieu
Sayonara, smell you later
Say goodbye, cause I see you