[Intro]
Woah, woah
It's really comin' down
All wet, man
Let's duck in some place, over here, come here
Open the door
Alright, no way I'm goin' in there
I don't care, just open it
Oh, alright
Let's go in, c'mon, man
Okay, okay, okay
Woah, look at this place, man! (Yeah, yeah) It's cool!
I could like to leave
It's like a haunted house
Hey, the door!
Uh-oh
Mwahahaha
Welcome, boys, come right in

[Verse 1]
Please come in, you're welcome here
Mind the cobwebs and the bones
May we invite you to spend the night?
Make yourself at home
Step this way, here's the living room
Though "dead room" is actually, hmm, more correct
'Cause there hasn't been a living soul here
Since Grandpa broke his neck
[Chorus]
In our haunted house
We'll treat you like one of us
But in our haunted house
That could be hazardous

[Verse 2]
Browse around the kitchen
Have a spoon, a fork, a knife
You must excuse those ketchup stains
We ate someone last night
Here is your big bedroom, dears
You'll love the creaky bed, heh-heh-heh
You'll sleep just fine, but when you wake
You still may feel half-dead

[Chorus]
In our haunted house
The butler is a ghost
The upstairs maid's been buried for years
And the chauffeur's comatose
In our haunted house
Our hospitality
Is something of which we're very proud
Oh, do you take poison in your tea?
[Bridge]
Don't let the spiderwebs mess up your hair
Don't mind the piano playing with no one there
The crumbling bookshelves covered with dust
One or two headless bodies, what's all the fuss?
The dreadful pounding, the screams and moans
It's just a typical night at home

[Chorus]
In our haunted house
Things float through the walls
You might see sights that chill the soul
Be sure to wear a shawl

[Verse 3]
We'd love you to come in
Stay a while and play
Once you finally settle in
You'll never go away
We'll make sure of that

[Outro]
In our haunted house
In our haunted house
In our haunted house
In our haunted house
In our haunted house
In our haunted house
In our haunted house
In our haunted house