[Verse 1]
If there was someone in
He would be way too embarrassed to see his own face
But he’s got no shame and the
Kids that he took on soon just got in the way
He had had some dreams but
Ambition always outstripped his ability
Then the penny dropped he was
Stuck right in the job he’d tried so hard to leave

[Chorus]
It gets you right here, interest and love
Some understanding, it’s simple enough
You can’t contradict, he’ll sulk and he’ll fight
The king of fuck all is always uptight

[Verse 2]
Soon the template changed
And the bitterness and disappointment filtered in
He could rule the roost with his
Sarcasm and old-fashioned discipline
So when trouble flared there were
Times when he had not been in control of himself
It’s in his nature to pour petrol on a fire and blame someone else

[Chorus]
It gets you right here, interest and love
Some understanding, it’s simple enough
You can’t contradict, he’ll sulk and he’ll fight
The king of fuck all is always uptight
[Bridge]
All bow down to the king of fuck all he rules on a whim
He thought that he was pretty smart but sadly is just dim
He’s at the cutting edge of dull it’s there on his C.V
Opens a beer, scratches his arse and shouts at the T.V

[Chorus]
It gets you right here, interest and love
Some understanding, it’s simple enough
You can’t contradict, he’ll sulk and he’ll fight
The king of fuck all is always uptight

[Outro]
Somebody please turn out the light