[Verse 1]
Ask me how do I feel
Ask me now that we're cozy and clinging
Well, sir, all I can say is
If I were a bell I'd be ringing (I'd be ringing)
From the moment we kissed tonight
That's the way I just got to behave (I've got to behave)
Boy, if I were a lamp I'd light
And if I were a banner I'd wave

[Verse 2]
Ask me how do I feel
Little me with my quiet upbringing (My quiet upbringing)
Well, all I can say is
If I were a gate I'd be swinging (I'd be swinging)
Oh, if I were a watch I'd start
Popping my spring (I'd pop my, pop my spring)
Or if I were a bell I'd go
Ding, dong, ding, dong, ding (Ding, dong, ding, dong, ding)

[Verse 3]
Ask me how do I feel
From this chemistry lesson I'm learning
(The chemistry lesson I'm learning)
Well, all I can say is
If I were a bridge I'd be b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-burning
Yes, I knew my morale would crack
From the wonderful way that you looked
(From the way that you looked)
Boy, if I were a duck I'd quack
Or if I were a goose I'd be cooked
[Verse 4]
Ask me how do I feel
Ask me now that we're fondly caressing
(Now that we're caressing)
Pal, if I were a salad
I know I'd be splashing my dressing (Splashing my dressing)
Ask me how to describe
This whole beautiful thing (A beautiful thing)
Well, if I were a bell I'd go
Ding, dong, ding, dong, ding

[Outro]
Ding, dong, ding
Ding, dong, ding-a-ling
Ding, dong, ding, dong
Ding